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One Pumped Up Babe

The Yasmin Quest - still

One Pumped Up Babe's Zargnoth Adventures

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This has been the slowest quest, I've ever pursued...

Nez Percey (another of those omnipresent Fire Riders) is here, so I take pity on his bedraggled appearance, transfer him my spare Huffinpuffer AirSac, and point him towards the nearest Large Quarry. I unload some more equipment, and aim that way myself. Once in go I, and this time I actually get treasure. Two Zoingo Gold Coins, 3 Gold Nuggets, and 3 Jade Snake Rings. I take the latter as a sign of Yasmin's approval, and go in again. This time, however, the final Flying Ballyhoo trips me up (again), and my treasure falls to the bottom of the Pond. Sigh. Back to the Inn.

Double sigh. I go sailing out into the world, failing to notice that my Riskiness was reset to minimal when I lost that last fight last turn. I attack several things, and run away from them all. Swell.

So we try this again. I attack a Crobbler. Boom, it's dead. I kill a couple other non-entities, and then attack and kill yet another Crobbler. Mission accomplished. I have all the necessary items, so, at long last, I quest to learn how to make the long-rumored Skull Mace. Result? My Quest for Knowledge fails, and I learn nothing new. Okay, back to the Large Quarry. I do manage to hold on to my treasure this time, but it's just nine Zoingo Silver Coins and eight Silver Beads. I think Carbunkle may have been hallucinating when he reported that he found PigIron in here. Now what? I wasted umpteen turns on this, and wasted time and effort trading for a Military Pick that isn't usable for digging, no matter what its blurb says. I think I need a time-out...

Once more into the Quarry, but my health is too low, and I'm a failure. Sigh. I wander back towards town, selling stuff off, and stop to ponder all this. Bask Wilton comes out of his Far Post to say 'hi', and can see I'm a little down. To lift my spirits, he tells me a secret about yelling. I put on a good face, but I was really hoping to learn secrets about Skull Maces. Okay, I'll do other parts of my Quest first and trust in Yasmin to set me on the right path. I hop a train, and move to another town. There's one person in the Inn, but I don't stay, so I don't find out who.

I pop in at an Ancient Graveyard, and collect 21 Oculars. Not much else to report- I meet (and fail to kill) a Log Hog, and little else. I spend the day travelling to my destination. Tomorrow, I should reach a Black Lotus Bush that I can camp near, and wait...

Not much out here in this section of the Z. I meet and kill a Huffinpuffer, and meet and choose not to fight a Rogue Swine. I also see one solitary Spark Sprig, a Large Cave, and a Tower Ruins, none of which I stop for. I do make it to my destination, though, which is a lonely Black Lotus Bush. 22 days to ripeness. I'll wait...

Yawn, stretch, and dash for the Black Lotus! It feels like it's Christmas! I make myself a handy-dandy one-purpose Black Arrow Shaft. One whole piece of this quest is done. Now to go find Skizlum and see how far she's gotten on her parts. I pack up and head back for town, and run into a Chasuck first thing. It takes 58 of my already minimal Health, so I decide to take the rest of the turn off. Sigh. Unknown territory- don't you hate it? On the brighter side, I decide to really exercize my brain, and realize how to make my Skull Mace.

Skull Mace! I finally made my ever-annoying Skull Mace! Why am I more excited about this then I was about the Black Arrow Shaft? In any case, I need to go back to town. Reepicheep popped by, and dropped off a Golden Gargoyle Goblet and a Dragon Flagon, and it's somewhat likely that I need to learn about Dragons to be able to find one, so I take the Dragon Flagon and head back. My Health being minimal, I run from most everything, even my second trip into an Anvient Graveyard (yes, it's _that_ low). Skizlum's here, though, and I unload some of my "junk"- a Golden Lion Tankard and two Silver Bone Necklaces.

Skizlum and I talk during the night, and at her request I also transfer over a Bow String and a Waxed Ooze, and she promises to hand me a spare Black Ball in a turn or two, and we'll both have spare Swinging Balls. A couple trips into the Graveyard again turn up two Damaged Silver Helms. Odd to get identical treasure, but even odder considering that I had Damaged Silver Helms on my Automatic Sell list, so conveniently enough once I get to the Inn they'll be gone that fast for 12 Oculars total. Back to town go I, and I sell a couple Black Lotus Leaves and my collection of Gator Hides (which I'm about to no longer need). My friendly Innkeeper tells me what I wanted to know, that being the History of the Dragon Kin, and I'm ready to head back to the Bridge, providing Skizlum helps me out.

I seem to have a case of amnesia here. I know I killed two creatures, and didn't get any treasure, but little else (though I did lose a lot of health). I've moved west of town, and met one new creature (a Vine Snake). Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.

Some days, I'm _almost_ tempted to follow a god. This eternally low health stuff is getting old. I go into a Large Quarry, but run out again just after getting to the island. No treasure for me. I do kill a couple of other things- a Plated Worm and a Chasuck, but so what? I run through an Ancient Graveyard as well, and find an oddly appropriate treasure- a Tuvian Shovel. When I imagined monsters buried with a Tuvian Shovel, I would have assumed it to mean "using" a Tuvian Shovel, not "next to" a Tuvian Shovel. Oh, yes, Skizlum comes through with her part of our trades, and I receive a Kongo Bow, a Black Ball (which I promptly use to make a second Swinging Ball), a Black Arrow Head, and a suit of Banded Iron Armor (which I immediately equip). Thanks!

Well, how _not_ to have a day go well. I move immediately to the Troll Bridge, and set about making my Black Arrow. However, I can't seem to figure it out- I don't have all the pieces (But I do, I do!). Did Yasmin lie to me? Is this all an elaborate practical joke? Are the demigods a ruse? I kneel, and spend the 200 APs I had tried to use making the Arrow in deep prayer to Tmp'jr and Ke'ith, the uber-gods of Monster Island, in the hopes that they will make sense of this. I do have a little fun, using my Scorpion Fork. Ah, relaxing. I feel the tensions of my failure draining away...

The greater gods assure me that my failure was an accident, and press me to re-attempt the act. I jump to my feet, and head back to the bridge. I do stop by an acquaintance's campsite, and transfer to them a Wooden Dragon Statue that Skizlum _just_ transferred to me. Then back to the bridge, and I try it again! Once again, however, the gods have frowned upon me. I kneel again, and spend another 200 APs in prayer to the aforementioned greater gods...

Ah, it seems there was a miscommunication between myself and the greater gods, and the problem was not yet fixed. _Now_, however, it is fixed. Back I go, and try it again. Result: nothing!?! Bah! I spurn the greater gods, and instead expend the 200 APs in weapon practice. Ptooh. I spit on you greater gods.

Before I travel, someone pops through and drops off the Dark Sword I need to hand off to Skizlum (their part of the Dragon Statue trade). Then, on to bigger things- the greater gods have again sent me dreams, and wish to apologize for my misfortunes. They wish me to attempt this again. So, with a weary sigh, I drag myself to my feet and make the long trek back to the bridge. With some apprehension, I lower my Black Shaft into the water, and, again, nothing happens! It doesn't work! I scream curses at the sky, until even the Bridge Trolls look on in fear and awe. These greater gods will be taught a lesson if its the last thing I live to do...

My mind reels in confusion. Without any action on my part, time rends itself asunder, and I find myself growing younger, until I am returned to the age I was at which I first arrived at the bridge. Almost as if I were a mere puppet, in no control over my actions, I watch from inside myself as I lower the Shaft again into the water, and the Black Lotus works its mysterious magic. Reeling in the Shaft, I join to it a Black Arrow Head, and at long last I have created the Black Arrow! In their magnificence, the greater gods have responded to my fits of harassment by reversing time itself, and correcting the wrongs of nature. I am humbled before their generosity. (Plus they comped Mark O' for the screwed up turns!)

Next up: the next step.

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These articles were taken from Skizlum Skallaglamm's Monster Island Page.
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