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One Pumped Up Babe

Off to find the Ruins...

One Pumped Up Babe's Zargnoth Adventures

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Having concluded purging a Camp of its Loggerheads, it's time to go help Skizlum find some temple Ruins. Plus, it's my first real all-out basic exploring of the inner Zargnoth...

First off... back to the Loggerhead Camp to regain my stuff. Oops! It's been so long that I've forgotten how to Glean Caches correctly. Oh, well, it's just a Tuvian Shovel and some ropes... From there, it's back to town, killing a Chasuck on the way (65 to it, 59 to me) and I hop a railroad for a new destination! Once in Fastor, I settle in at the Wooden Leg, signing up for the only weapons training I can still use, and it's off to bed...

Up in the morning, and the Innkeeper tells me I just missed someone: Pubert E. Blues. Skizlum tells me she knew Pubert from waaaaaay back when- it's nice to see they're still playing. Anyway, I have a test to perform. These many moons ago, I was told that my Lantern will work if I simply try it. So... I pick up a Swinging Ball here at the Inn, and head out into the wilderness (stopping to pick up an Iron Shovel at the Forge to replace my cached Tuvian Shovel). Anyway, from there it's only a short hop to a Tainted Hollow, and I try my 'U 33' order. It doesn't work! It must be 'U 200'. So I try that as well- nope! Insufficient lighting all around. Apparently Lanterns don't work (for me) after all. Sigh. Well, I get in a lot of weapon practice as a result...

A side note: thanks to the several people who have written me and let me know that Lanterns do, indeed, work for them. Apparently they do work, but we're not sure why it didn't work for me.

Okay, so the Lantern is still a question. I set course for a Hillock a couple turns away, with the intent of testing this out on a smaller scale. Of course, I then promptly pass a Stone Crypt. Rather than waste a turn here, I'll continue to my simpler test first. Not much else to report- I kill several "old" creatures (including a Crobbler that I whomp with a one-shot 72 point headbutt!). Not paying much attention to where I was going, I end up camped right up against the eastern Crystal Wall. ...Sigh... I spend my evening gazing longingly over it's impassable peaks...

Travelling through the unknown Zargnoth sure isn't exciting... I kill a Jagwere as I wander through the sand, and finally make my way to the Hillock that Skizlum had told me about. I resignedly pull out my Lantern for one last test, and, wonder of wonders, it works! One 'U 200' results in one dead Knolltir! I settle down to sleep under some shady palms, and begin to ponder my problem. Working theory: Perhaps, when the gods taught the Lanterns how to function, the gods had not yet created what lay inside Tainted Hollows? After all, judging from the gods' followers that I have met, I would judge that the gods must be highly fallible. The logical way to test my hypothesis would be by gathering empirical evidence: I must test my Lantern in a Stone Crypt (created about the same time as Tainted Hollows, according to ancient religious texts) and I must ask these same questions of other Monsters. However, despite just passing such a Crypt last turn I think I'll now continue south to help Skizlum in her quests. After all, abstract philosophy does not come easy to Normans...

Another day on the island- all this thinking hurts! I need to kill something. Grabbing my trident, I look around me, but all I can find is the Plodder I've been putting off training as a mount since I first captured him shortly after I entered the Zargnoth. Hmm. So, chewing on my fresh venison steaks, I begin another days exploration. Not much to report- I do pass a Large Cave and a King Ock Mushroom Grove. One creature I've never seen before, though Skizlum has mentioned it to me- a Chomper. It dies after taking 133 damage, having responded with 34 to me. I settle in for another night on the island.

I check out that Chomper's den again, and lo and behold there's another one there! I kill this one (103 to it, 46 to me), and move on. Not much out here- I meet and kill a Sand Thug, a creature that neither Skizlum nor I managed to meet in the old region, but which seems pretty common out here. I zigzag across the railroad tracks (Once again giving lie to the rumor that you can't cross said tracks without risk. I think what said rumor intended was that you can't cross a railway bridge without risk.). Lots of plant life out here, and I fill up on Zinki darts. Finally, I set up camp, and what do I find but a set of Ruins! Oh, wait, it's only Tower Ruins. As if an atheist like myself would care anyway...

Lots of stuff out here all of a sudden... Leaving, from the Tower Ruins, hmm, there's a Hillock over on my left. And off on my right that must be a Great Cave. And creatures too... Pummel Bears, Gargantu Tree Sloths, Dragonbats and Landsharks, oh my! But for all that, nothing really worthy of note to pass along. Theory One on Temple Location in the Zargnoth is looking poor all of a sudden- it may be time to pack up and go test Theory Two.

Swamp, swamp, swamp. Off in the distance I hear a couple monsters yelling as they track along about three turns behind Skizlum, but I ignore it and continue my explorations (particularly considering it took US Mail 11 days to get this turn from New York to Seattle). Not much to report. Three creatures killed, including my first Tentaculus. It dies easy, taking 101 damage while doing 38 to me. Something's wrong when even the brand new creatures bore me. In any case, I think I'm breaking off this exploration and heading back for the Inn.

Let's see... I practice up on my Voodoo, and make myself a couple more Shingle Poison, just in case I happen to need them. Not much else out here- a Smite, a couple Dune Oozes, some miscellaneous vegetation, and it's naptime again! Yaaaawn!

Into an Ancient Graveyard go I... One dead Tomb Leech yields Damaged Silver Gauntlets. Okay, let's try it again then... This time, three Tomb Leeches, a Cemetary Creeper, and a Zombie all sacrifice themselves on the point of my Trident, yielding up a Silver-Studded Club in the process. Well, it's something anyway. A King Emu dies at my hands, as does another one of those annoying feral Gators. Yes, within a span of two turns both Skizlum and I have been de-armored. Sigh. One last thing this turn: I find a new (to me) plant. Black Lotus! Yes, I've found another of the exceedingly rare Black Lotus Leaf Bushes. It's got 26 days before it can be harvested, so I may well just hang around the neighborhood and wait for it.

What a weird dream... I have this really odd feeling of dreaming a turns travels that never really happened. In any case, I erase it from my memoirs, and continue on into reality... First things first: I hunt down and kill a couple Gators, thereby garnering enough Gator hides to make some armor. Much better... A King Emu and a Dune Ooze also are swatted to their deaths as I go, and I make my way back to the Black Lotus Shrub. Ten days to harvesting (again), so it looks like I'll still be hanging around for a bit...

Finally, the ten days have passed, and I hold in my hand the exceedingly rare Black Lotus Leaf. Now if I can only find some knowledgeable soul to teach me what to do with the thing. Still, I pack it away, knowing full well that some day it will be of great value to me. Off I wander, into an Ancient Graveyard (twice), and come away with six Oculars and a Swarth Net. Unfrotunately, my lack of armor and the last few turns' encounters combine to leave me low of health, and two trips into a second Graveyard leaves me fleeing early. I run away from a Crunchy Frog as well, and find myself a comfortable bit of bog to nap in, knowing that next turn I'll be able to build myself some nice protective armor...

My group leader has vanished! Where'd he go? Mystically empowered, I seek to ascertain the identity of my new group leader, and... it's me! Three or four years ago, I was the only active Knight (even considering asking for the group Battle Cry "There can be only one!). After a short rebirth, now we're down to the point that by voting for myself as group leader I can become group leader. Next turn I'll have to issue the command that lets me check on the group membership (whatever that is). Anyway, I arise and begin my travels. A couple more trips into that second Graveyard, with distinctly better results. Two trips gets me 12 Zoingo Copper Coins, one Damaged Silver Dagger, and several dead creatures (hey, I know, but it's a Graveyard, what do you want?). Moving on, I'm suddenly pulled into a bog of quicksand, wherein I'm attacked by a Tentaculus. I free myself with little effort, and flee the Tentaculus, making a mental note to go ahead and see about finding a new mount... Finally, I camp out, sewing quietly as I construct a brand spanking new suit of Gator Armor. Much better...

Some serious deja vu going on here... I wander into yet another Ancient Graveyard, and this time my requisite two trips get me an Iron Shield (nice for a graveyard but not much use to me) and eleven Oculars. Moving on I, again, run across some quicksand and am, again, ambushed by a Tentaculus and, again, I flee, this time after doing 90 damage to him in one round. Plus, of course, not having a Plodder I once again trudge into the quicksand and find myself stuck until I lasso a trunk and pull myself out. Lovely. My kingdom for a plodder...

I find myself wandering into unknown territory, with predictable results. I meet and kill one Pummel bear, and return to nap, starving and thirsty. Still several turns to go before I'm out of this wilderness and back to town, however...

Another boring turn, another eight muscle gained. Not much to do out in the wilderness but Jazzercize. I do pass (very early in my days travels) a Tomb of Mumundus, but I'm on my way back to town so I let it go. On other fronts, I fight both a Crunchy Frog and a Grizzley Hedgehog 'til they flee. Now I regret killing my plodder for another reason- I could use the company. Company, that's it! Closing my eyes and concentrating, I call upon my new status as group leader to determine my group status. Counting myself, there seem to be six members of the Knights of Sylvester. The question now becomes, are any of them active...

More of the same. I pound a Chasuck senseless, then mess with a Thermadon Rex and a Double-Pawed Cougar in quick succession, and find myself fleeing for my life. Eight more Muscle, but I think I'm going to have to do a little less of that- I need to rid myself of some junk. I pass a perfectly useful Umber Grass field by, not picking anything up as I have too much jetsam in hand already. My health continues to bleed away for lack of food and water...

This lack of food and water is beginning to get distressing. I find myself running away from three different creatures as I travel, though admittedly all of 'em are the tougher types. I make camp at the Loggerhead Camp I cleared out singledhandedly several months ago, and stick my nose in. There's something moving! Wait, that's not a Loggerhead- it's a Viper. Mikkado, one of the Northern Knights of Kabuki seems to be out here. Strangely enough, Reepicheep reported seeing her just a month or so ago at the Black Swan. She's a quick mover, that one. Anyway, we exchange greetings, and I settle in for the night, since no Loggerheads seem to have resettled here. What's this? My old cache! I'd forgotten it. I pull out my Tuvian Shovel, but leave the two ropes where they are. Of course, when I think about it in the morning, I'll have to discard my Tuvian Shovel, since I already bought an Iron one to replace it.

Well, this has been a complete (though occasionally interesting) waste of time. It's time for a new project.

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These articles were taken from Skizlum Skallaglamm's Monster Island Page.
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