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BAD COMPANY GENERAL REPORT
Arrrrrgh! Where the hell did 1998 go? If anyone finds it, be sure to let me know! So this was the year in which Space 1999 was set...creepy, huh? Anyway, I hope this turns out to be a blistering year for you all, and if I've got anything to do with it, life on The Island is gonna spice up some. But enough senseless babble - let's make some history...
GOOD TIMES & BAD TIMES...
Well I just have to say that major changes are afoot, and this is simply the only way to describe what is going on. We've lost some key players in the last month or two, due to stress, work (ie., lack of time) and even possibly injury. I hasten to add that Mark Phillipson wasn't swept away by Hurricane Mitch, and he's ok. But he's had to quit the game on account of work - I think he's off to Oz for six months now...
And it appears we've lost Chris, Joss, Sebastian, Paul, Gareth and Mark B! Ouch. Fact is Bad Company would have collapsed if I wasn't leading it! But I am, and I ain't finished by a damn sight. I won't know for sure whether The Count and Bosworth are gone, or indeed Vapnajokull, until KJC put the inactive Brothers on my account. I'll issue another General Report as soon as I know what's going on. It could be that some Brothers are having some rather long holidays over the Christmas period?
Alec has already snapped up Mark P's Brothers (and who can blame him?), but the other suspected inactive Brothers are Count Ugolino, Spedtime, Hafnor, Bosworth, Vapnajokull, Claws, Montin, Drak, O'Toole, McToodle and Klaws.
I've got a lot of very important things to cover in this Report, so I want to get this out of the way now. Obviously there will be a great deal of interest in the first four inactive Brothers mentioned above, as they can all Teleport. But I can't say what I'm going to do with them yet, as whatever happens they must always be in a position to fight. As far as the remainder are concerned, it's first come, first served, so contact me immediately if you're interested.
Incredible though it sounds, we aren't significantly weaker having lost these players. In fact we are arguably stronger! The trend seems to be that the very tough Brothers (ie., those that fought), are being kept in circulation by a few players, who just happen to be at least as aggressive (if not more so) than their previous owners. So if anything our offensive capacity has become even more deadly as a result of inactivity! Weird.
But let's make no bones about it - we need more players! And we need them NOW! If you are on the internet then put maximum possible effort into finding new players. Make it very clear that we can supply tough little cookies with access to Teleport, but don't just rope any old player in! We want only the fanatical now. More on this later...
Ok, it's highly unusual that I would leave news about war until now, but this should give you a good indication of the degree of confidence with which I view this. Let's start with the facts. Midg (and thus ShadowCult) have stated that they are going to use Temple X when they feel like it, they aren't going to pay any Talismans to use it (or ask for permission), and moreover, if Bad Company don't like this then Midg will sell us out to The MLF and The Dark!
Um, how can I put this in the least possible offensive way? (Remember that a couple of Brothers also have members in ShadowCult). It's a pity Mark P has gone - he would have loved this. I'm gonna rip their heads off and shove 'em where the sun don't shine. I've had enough of Midg. Some of you already know the score, but I really can't be bothered to go over the whole thing again now, or even to justify what I'm going to do to ShadowCult. Stuff them. They die. No one touches Temple X. That Temple is OURS, and if ShadowCult think they're gonna tippy-toe through without me noticing, then they can think again. Titus is Guardian X, and I'm gonna know when it's used.
Indeed, I've been kind of hoping this would happen as now we've got a chance to sort them out once and for all. I want REVENGE! Previously we couldn't break our word as long as ShadowCult were neutral, but now everything changes. If you see any ShadowCult members, including those that nip through our Temples (take note you Guardians), then kill 'em - if you can't (for whatever unspeakable reason) then let me know, and I sure as hell will.
Now most of you will know that we were trying to work a deal out with The Dark, to allow them Teleport. What we asked for in exchange for the mother of all powers, was a map and whatever other information they thought might help us. Then, assuming they gave us enough stuff, we'd give them Teleport in a minimum of six months, and a maximum of a year. But The Dark aren't going to go for this deal. Instead they are busy heading towards Site Y, and they're going to Sanctify! Eek! Armed with Gold Rings, using Hidey-Holes and Hide Fellow Followers, and given that even if we did manage to kill a couple of 'em they can still use Ghosts to Sanctify! Oh no! How can we ever hope to stop them? Once they have Teleport we're finished! Finished I tell ya! They'll be all over us like a bad smell - hunting us, murdering our young, defiling our (numerous) Forts, and bringing down eternal darkness upon our very souls...what hope is there? We're all dooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooomed! We're all - OY! YOU!
Snap out of it! Fuvah Followers FEAR NOTHING! No mangy little Darksider is gonna hang my cheese out in the wind. Have we ever failed in a Mission? Don't we always succeed? Right! And this time ain't gonna be any different. I have a cunning plan. A plan so deadly, so perfect, so...clinical, that it defies belief. So am I gonna tell you what it is?
Nope. Those that need to know, already know - no point in taking unnecessary risk - more on this later. I'll just say this. That according to the rules (as we know it) we can't fail. It will physically prevent Darksiders Sanctifying. There is no way around it, over it, under it, or through it. And it doesn't rely on might or pressure - it relies on brains.
There will soon come a time (hopefully) when The Dark have enough Darksiders on Site Y to attempt Sanctification, if they don't bottle out first. They will attempt Sanctification. They will fail. About this time they should realise they've made what is known in the trade, as a tactical blunder. Oh yes. Ain't no way back from Zargnoth without Teleport. Site Y is many Turns away from the nearest safe haven. Not only this, they've managed to get their seven (minimum) toughest members into a single square which we already know about.
Now some of you are already going to be dribbling at the very thought of the CARNAGE that must surely follow. If you're in, then tell me with which Brothers. And get making them White Lotus Elixir! You're gonna need 'em. We'll have a very special kind of protection regardless, but it's always best to make doubly sure. I mean, what if they all attack a single Brother? And when we're in there, get ready to peg it at a moment's notice. They'll have so many Ghosts wandering around they could easily kill any one of us by Haunting our Dreams.
We're getting on with The Light better than ever now, so in the incredibly unlikely event that The Dark somehow manage to Sanctify their Zargnoth Temple (which they won't, but just say they do), then we'll have allies in the form of tough Teleporting Lightsiders to help us. It will be in our interests to help The Light, and in The Light's interests to help us. I use the word 'allies', but I don't mean in any official sense. It's more a case of convenience than anything. Though having said that, things are looking exceptionally good on this front, so don't be surprised if something does develop as a result of this. The Light will have Teleport in a matter of weeks now...
The only real problem we have at the moment is players running Brothers, and Monsters in other groups. We have at least two players running ShadowCult members, and we have at least two players running Darksiders. The simple fact of the matter is we can't be doing with this any more. Some of them I trust, but some of them I most certainly do not! This is one of the reasons why I can't just lay things on the line - because the group is no longer secure in the way it used to be. For example, I can't be specific about the above plan, and I can't be specific about the new stuff (see later).
We've got to sort this out. They've all received this Report (hi), so they'll be reading this too. But I'm not going to start pulling up specific Brothers on this. Yet. The situation may work itself out. The particular Brothers concerned have vested interests in The Dark and ShadowCult, but since we are at war with both these forces, this obviously isn't in our interests. None of the Brothers concerned are key players, and it kind of begs the question, why should the rest of us be put at risk on their account? As some of you have already pointed out...
But remember that with pressure from Bad Company, ShadowCult don't stand a chance in the long term. Monsters thus affected may choose to Change Groups and opt for Bad Company 100%, or even drop their ShadowCult members and take on inactive Brothers (which will be significantly tougher, and have free access to Teleport). More or less the same situation apples to Brothers running Darksiders - why bother? I'm going to let them think about this for a bit, so I'll say no more about this for now - we'll just have to put up with it for the moment.
But to expand on my previous comments, make sure that any interested Prospects (say, on the net) do not run Monsters aligned to non-Light groups. Entry to Bad Company is now restricted to unaligned Fuvites and Lightsiders ONLY! We'll have to deal with existing players who run Monsters across groups at some point though, for all our sakes.
No votes, no democracy, no namby-pamby crap like that. We have a group to rebuild, and we need strong foundations. In other words we need Fuvite fanatics, like we had in the good old days. And we'll need to fight these wars, and no doubt others in the future, so we don't want any pacifists, do-gooders, squeamish or cowardly types. We've lived under democracy (or was it anarchy?) since 4.7.1995 (Independence Day), and my professional analysis is that it sucks. What good has it done us? Look at the level of inactivity. The fact is that without pressure, Brothers lose the edge. By Fuvah, I bet my right eye that most Brothers don't remember The Code (BCCn), or even why they're called Brothers in the first place! Democracy brings freedom, brings apathy. No more. Marshal Law is now in force...
The Ranks are General T Groan, Colonel Sverilix, Captain Baddu-Bac, Captain O'Malley, Sergeant Vic, Sergeant Detritus, Warrior K Shadowborn, Warrior S Groan, Warrior M Groan, Warrior L Groan, Warrior R Groan, Warrior V Groan, Warrior A Groan, Warrior K Flametop, Warrior Perrin, Warrior Feind, Warrior Wysdumb, Warrior Tarrasque, Warrior Svensvenazuk, Warrior Konstantin, Warrior Karazam and Warrior Screaming Mad Morris.
Some of you might be wondering where the other Colonel, two Captains, and six Sergeant Ranks went. Don't worry, they still exist. We'll let things settle down first before we sort these out. It may be (for example) that Count Ugolino is still with us, in which case he'll take a Rank of Colonel. Or it may be that Bosworth and Vapnajokull are still with us in which case we're looking at another two Captains. Once we know they're inactive (or active) we'll sort this out.
It is usual for extra Brothers you play to hold the lowest possible Rank. The Rank of any particular player in Bad Company is given by the highest Rank any of his Brothers hold. Rank is a direct indicator of status, let there be no mistake about that! If you have a crap Rank, then you have a crap status. Though this may be through no fault of your own - you might be young, or a very recent addition to the group, in which case you won't have had a chance to prove yourself. You will. Of course some young Brothers have a relatively high Rank, for example Captain O'Malley. This speaks for itself, as can Captain O'Malley. If you want to know why, then ask him!
Rank brings responsibility. Responsible Brothers send in maps, BCSns (status Reports), and help other Brothers whenever they can. Naughty Brothers don't. But doing this won't get you to the higher Ranks. In order to get the Rank of Captain or above, you have to be a worthwhile addition to the group. You will have to fight for us (if or when appropriate - ie., no wars, obviously no fighting), and you will have to be respected by the majority of your peers.
Take pride in your Rank, and take pride in the Honours you receive (if any). Brothers have worked for any Rank they hold, and the same applies with Honours. Use your Rank whenever possible, and especially when communicating with other Monsters or in MIAB. It gives us a unique image no other group has, not that any other group could ever hope to be like us. And it tells other Monsters you are 'protected' without you having to tell them directly.
With Rank come orders. It's tempting to say that no Brother is put in an impossible position, but this isn't always the case. It is usually the case. There are very few mandatory Missions (such as Temple Rebuilding), so you can kiss that kind of thing goodbye. But from time to time you may receive an order, and not necessarily from me. If you are a Warrior, you might receive an order from a Sergeant. If you are a Sergeant, you might receive an order from a Captain, or a Colonel. You will only be given an order if it is necessary, and you should feel compelled to carry it out. An overwhelming sense of guilt and remorse should engulf you if you ever fail to comply with a direct order.
For example, Colonel Sverilix might be guiding a young Warrior through a dangerous area infested with Darksiders. You, a Captain in the vicinity, might be told to protect said Warrior. This isn't because Colonel Sverilix is lazy, it's because he isn't in a position to do it himself. Having said this, in the past such things were always sorted out by asking Brothers if they could do the job - orders only ever became necessary if things got desperate.
Some of you won't like Marshal Law, but unfortunately you're going to have to live with it or wuss out. It is in the interests of our group that we operate thus, at least until we've expanded and taken on many more players. So for now you're stuck with it. Just take my word for it when I say that it is the most effective system we've ever used.
So where does this leave our potential Priests? Well, it does kind of derail the massive effort on Talismans I'd hoped for. This is a situation where the more Brothers you run, the better. In fact that's always the case, but you know what I mean? For example, one of your Brothers might be busy getting Teleport, another might be fighting a war, and another might be investigating new Structures and working on Priesthood. Of course, once this is done then you can swap the Priest with the fighter, etc, in order that all your Brothers become Priests.
Er, difficult to say exactly what we'll be doing collectively to become Priest. It might be that we sort The Dark out quickly, and bash ShadowCult so severely they collapse. In which case we'll have more than enough time on our hands. Or it might be that the war(s) drag out for years (wars have a tendency to do just that), and we might never really have enough time to work on Priest as we would like. Use your discretion. If you control Brothers without Teleport, then every single one of them should be working on Teleport, and Rank (religious, that is) 20 Disciple. Your other Brothers should be split 50/50 - half to fight, and half to work on Priest. But use your noggin. If there is no fighting, collect Talismans while you can. If the fighting gets too intense, use your Brothers to fight and worry about Talismans later.
Mmmm - plenty of new stuff to talk about. Structures first. But before we start, I'll not be specific with this information on account of the cross-group players. This isn't just me being obtuse, this a genuine concern among Brothers. For security reasons, none of this information will be made available to any players running Monsters in other groups (except The Light). This way we know the information stays within the group, and doesn't filter down to other groups. To those players who do run Monsters in other groups, but who had no intention of revealing this information to said other groups, I can only apologise. I know it's a sod, but there's no other way.
Anyway, where were we? Structures! There are eight new Structures...I'm just waiting for that to sink in. Eight? Yup! can you believe that all them players chose this point in time to become inactive? Astounding isn't it? Some of them were playing for seven years, and they choose now to leave? Say no more, say no more...
Structure #1 as you all know is the Pond. You need an Item to get in, and I still haven't figured out what it is. Once you have the Item you gain access to the Grotto, otherwise you get beaten senseless. In fact you get beaten senseless anyway, but that's beside the point. If you whack a Pond (BP order - 2APs) and you Wrestle Rocadiles, but don't reach the Grotto, send me a complete list of the Items you have. Naturally, if you figure this out, or hear any rumours, don't forget to let me know, eh?
Structure #2 you won't have a clue about. I've already told some of you about this - if not, and you want to know more, then get in touch. We know how to crack it, although I've never been through myself. I'll know the details in a week, and it's also possible I'll have cracked Ponds by then too.
Structures #3 and #4 are operational in America, and due here shortly. Don't know anything about them, other than Structure #4 can kill you! If you already know about Structure #2, then you want your head testing if you can't figure out which two Structures these are...and of these two, it's obvious which one might kill you.
Structures #5, #6, #7 & #8. One of these Structures is going to be a place where weak Monsters can get good Treasure. If you ask me, that means Boulders. A couple will be updates of existing Structures - who knows what? Could be any of 'em. I'd be surprised if a King Ock Mushroom Grove isn't included. And we can't rule out the possibility that a brand new Structure will be introduced somewhere along the line.
Again, let me know if you discover anything, or hear any rumours on the net.
The other thing of note are Demigods, which should be sorted very soon. I can only assume they will tackle Priest at the same time. Who knows what they will be, but the existing Blurbs should give you some idea. Personally every single Brother I have will go for the Dragon Demigod (if there is one), but talk to me about this! We may be faced with a situation where we need certain numbers of Brothers following a particular Demigod to get things done, as is the case with Temple Sanctification. Indeed, we might be faced with Temple Sanctification, though I hope not, 'cos it makes me sick to think about it.
We can't afford to rush into this until we know what the score is. Of course, we'll have to wait until we know if the criteria for Priesthood changes or not, but assuming it doesn't, we'll get a crap inactive Brother to act as the stoogie. And be aware that if the criteria don't change, you're going to have to start killing other Monsters (if you haven't already). What was it? Kill four Acolytes of the major Gods? Kind of implies that Fuvites are counted too, and I would assume a Disciple counts as an Acolyte. Heh, heh. Think I've only got one more to go. Someone's going to get a nasty surprise soon...
Course, with all this yabbering and whinging about death, it's possible the programmer might change the rules. In order to give younger Monsters a break, you understand! Don't you believe it - it's all about cash, and knocking players out of Island isn't good for the old bank balance.
ODDS & SODS
You know where to contact me, so send information, maps, new Blurbs and anything you think I (or other Brothers) might find interesting, to my new address - ***************************************************.
Despite the recent spate of inactivity, and the gravity of losses such as Mark P and Chris, we're still looking sharp. But you should not underestimate the importance of getting new players into the group, and especially fanatics who are interested in running multiple Brothers. Don't for a second think that your input isn't essential.
What happens if, for the sake of argument, Bad Company is reduced to just a few players? Well obviously there will be no point in issuing Reports, lists, or such things. It'll be no good popping up once in a blue moon and expecting maps and Reports, 'cos you won't get 'em. Either you're in, or you're out - and now's the time to decide. As has been demonstrated in the past, I'll go to extraordinary lengths to help Brothers out, but from now on I'll only do this if they deserve it. I've got other things to worry about, without chasing Brothers up
As a rule of thumb you should be writing to me at least once a month, and more if you hold Rank. Always try to respond to a BCGn (like this), and tell me what you think about what is going on. The only reasonable excuse you have for not doing this is if you are dead, and don't try to use that excuse more than once! Eh? At the end of the day, if nothing happened, then scribble a note saying "nothing happened last month, but I ain't dead, dismembered, or even slightly sad" on something (light), wap a stamp on it, and post it.
Maps help! Who do you think generates our maps? It's YOU! And what you're thinking always goes down well. A lot of the time I base group decisions on what I already know Brothers think about stuff, or what I think Brothers might think based on things they've said in the past. I'm always interested to hear from you, so don't be shy (or lazy).
Finally, thanks to all those Brothers who've stuck with us through thick and thin. Every Brother appreciates this. You've enabled us to survive intact longer than any other group - in fact since 1.6.1992! Every single other group out there - KLN, Blinding Dawn, UGLI, HHC, HoS, Void, WKK, BKoS, is dead and gone - or at the very least, brought back from the grave. We are one of a kind - unique. Make sure we stay that way! Take it easy, and don't eat too much over Christmas and the New Year.
Swabber & Swoopstake,
General T Groan